Meaning of GDP in India !!!

Result of an increase in Petrol Prices 😆

"What do two plus two equal?

A mathematician , an accountant and an economist apply for the same
job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two
plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four,
exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and
says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same
question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On
average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same
question "What do two plus two equal?"

The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down
close to the interviewer and says "What would you like it to equal?"

Dave's Adventures

Dave works hard at the office, puts in a lot of overtime, and then
spends most evenings bowling, playing basketball or working out at the
gym. His wife, Mary, thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so, for
his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doing?"

Mary is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no,"
says Dave. "He works out at the gym with me."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser.

Mary is now becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot
for that woman to know you drink Budweiser."

"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."

A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave.
"Hi Davey," she says, "Want your usual table dance?"

Mary, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club getting
into a cab. Before Mary can slam the door, Dave jumps in beside her.
Right away she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real
bitch tonight, Dave."

Hallelujah

"The Donkey"
One day a farmer decided he
needed to buy a new donkey.
He knew the preacher
had a donkey for sale
so he went to see
about buying it.
The Preacher told the farmer,
"this donkey has been trained
in a very unique way".
"The only way to get the
donkey to go forward
is by saying Hallelujah".
"The only way to make
the donkey stop
is to say Amen".
The farmer said
"I can remember that",
and he got on the
donkey to try out the
preacher's instructions.

"Hallelujah" shouted the farmer,
and the donkey began to trot.
"Amen" shouted the farmer and
the donkey stopped immediately.
"This is great" Said the farmer!!
He paid the preacher and with a "Hallelujah" he rode off very
proud of his new purchase.

The farmer traveled for
a long time through some
mountains. Soon he was
headed towards a cliff.
Suddenly the farmer realized
he could not remember how
to make the donkey stop.
"Stop"!!, the farmer shouted.
"Halt"!!! he cried.
The donkey just kept going,
he wouldn't stop.

Oh no, thought the farmer.
I'm going to go over the cliff!!
He began to panic!!!
Bible!....Church!....
Holy!....Please Stop!!
shouted the farmer!
The donkey just ran faster!!! He was getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff!!
Finally, in desperation,
the farmer said a prayer.
"Please dear Lord,
please make this donkey
stop before I go off
the edge of this cliff.
In the name of Jesus,
Amen".
As soon as the donkey heard
the word "AMEN" he came to
an abrupt stop just one step
from the edge of the cliff!!!!


With a huge sigh of relief the farmer said "Thank you Lord"!!!!

Followed By!!!
"Hallelujah"!!!!!

Funny Taglines

Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing..

Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Conserve energy... fart in a jar

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.

Bush,Manmohan,Sonia and Aishwarya.....

Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia Gandhi are travelling in a train.The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.Suddenly there is a kissing sound followed by a tight slap.The train comes out of the tunnel.Sonia and Manmohanare sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.All of them remain diplomatic andnobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very properthat she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Wanna guess wat Manmohan was thinking????
- - - - -
- - - - -
- - - - -
- - - - -
Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.